Finally, I've returned to place where my heart finds rest- the pages where I can create and share. Thank you for waiting for me here. I've been sick and have just gotten back my full strength.
I find that I'm exceptional at ignoring direction, ignoring God. The difference between not knowing what you should be doing and knowing and not doing it is astounding. Especially when it comes to God. I find myself knowing that the key to drawing closer to God is spending time in the Word and in Prayer, yet, I'm often passing over spending that critical time in light of sleep or time or whatever. You probably say, if He's your priority, then you make it a priority. To that end I consider myself an epic fail. I don't always may Him a priority- I speak grandiose ideas of who God is and then put a limit on drawing closer to Him. I find myself often wondering where I would be if I didn't put these limits on myself, limits on God. It's like an endless cycle and like so many other things in my life it seems it never changes.
Then I catch glimpses of small changes- evidence that God has taken me to a new place, understanding. I see the infinite wisdom that flows from His Spirit within me. I realize that all along- the things that I see as faults, weakness, God is using and transforming me. All those broken dreams, plans, promises, ideas- procrastination, ignorance- there is grace and a love that never fails us, no matter how we try, we can never fall out of that. So in not knowing the stuff we're not supposed to know yet- Ignorance is bliss, getting to the Bliss leaves us right where we're supposed to be.
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